How Do You Deal With Rejection?

  Experiencing a bout of rejection from those you trust can wreak devastating consequences upon your mental well-being.  Reeling from a wretched discussion with the perpetrator, your emotions swell like a rowboat in the Hurricane Katrina episode.  Maybe your wife committed an indiscretion with another lover.  You might have been abused by a leering uncle.  Religious leaders could have confused your perception of God through their debasing lectures.  A rejection letter from your school of choice might have arrived, painstakingly detailing your shortfalls.  Each one of us feels that sucker punch to the breadbasket when we are rejected for whatever reason.


Transform that rejection into a positive reinforcement of your character.  Implement the following three thoughts to help you process those emotions.


  1. What is the motive behind the rejection? Most of the time, the rejecter does so unconsciously.  Often misguided in their perceptions of you, they tend to react based upon their own past experiences.  Because they cannot understand you, they lash out with the first blurt to enter their brain.  Damage is done; you are deeply wounded.  Realize their motive is not usually meant to hurt you.
  2. Jump into the narrator’s shoes for one minute.  If you could view your circumstances as an omniscient chronicler, how would you assess this problem?  From an objective perspective, you can view possible solutions to calm your frayed emotions.  By distancing yourself for a brief minute, you will gain clarity to nurse those wounds of rejection appropriately.
  3. How can this rejection help someone else? Because you have been inducted into the club of “the rejected,” you now have a voice of sympathy.  You can deeply understand those who have been similarly harmed.  Pick one person to love who has faced some similar struggle.  Reach out to them through a word of encouragement, a phone call, a comment, or a Latte at Starbucks.


Have you ever felt those tentacles of rejection wrap around your heart, threatening to squeeze your emotions to a breaking point?  Have you every extended a positive word to another struggling rejectee?  How did that feel for you?